


A necromancer's heart

by Vandariel



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Character Development, F/M, Iron Bull - Freeform, Krem - Freeform, Romance, Slight flirt, bone bending, caring bull, celebrating, flirt, kiss, not really lore friendly, not that kind you think about haha, she had a sad past god damn it she deserved better already, tipsy lavellan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:26:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27309883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vandariel/pseuds/Vandariel
Summary: After the successful hunt of the Higher Dragon in the Hinterlands everyone celebrated extensively in the tavern - except the Inquisitor Dhara Lavellan. She was plagued by a guilty conscience, but also the question whether she would like this new life on Skyhold at all. The Iron Bull joins her and tries to distract her but it turns out differently than both thought.
Relationships: The Iron Bull & Female Lavellan (Dragon Age), The Iron Bull/Lavellan (Dragon Age)
Kudos: 4





	1. To the Dragons

**Author's Note:**

> HUUUGE Thank to my friend Halla for doing the Beta reading, you're a sweetie! 
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE:
> 
> This Fic is not really 100% Lore friendly in one point: Dhara is a Necromancer who gained a rare power called bone bending. This kind of power DOES NOT exist in the Dragon Age Lore! I found it interesting to give her that kind of magic, which will also be explained in further Chapters.

  
_Artwork by Felandaria_

Dhara was more than overwhelmed by all her feelings - she could not put it into words what happened today. For the first time she saw a true dragon and it was also her first time slaying one. His gigantic wings, those ruby red eyes and this grace, which this dragon radiated – what a pity for it to have to die. Dhara didn't like to kill such a rare and breathtaking creature - especially if she knew that she could benefit from it as a bone bender.

That night, everyone on Skyhold celebrated in the tavern with food and drink. Loud roars and cheers echoed from the small building - "To the Inquisition!", "Another beer!", the constant, joyful shouts that spread like an echo through the surrounding area. But Dhara wanted to be alone - she was not used to large crowds and everything went too fast for her anyway. 

Not far from the tavern Dhara leaned in front of the walls of the battlements and watched the almost blood-red horizon; in her left hand an empty jug which she held loosely over the edge swayed slightly back and forth. She thought a lot, sometimes a little too much. Her thoughts almost drowned her, fixated on the inner voice that was floating in her head. 

She was an apostate, a former Dalish – one who’d fled from the suffering that her clan had done to her back then. For years she wandered alone, rarely in company. From the Anderfels to Nevarra, then over to Haven. And now she is the herald Andrastes - the hope of many people who once loathe her. 

"This is all so confusing. It is too much. I cannot do this. The poor dragon...he wanted to be free like me and I took that. I'm no better than the others," she thought repentantly but a sound brought her back abruptly.

A soft clang and squeak could be heard from her left. She turned to it and saw the Iron Bull coming toward her with his own jug in his hand. Bull could never sneak up on her, his ankle injury of days past made him wear a telling loud metal brace. She chuckled softly as she saw Bull’s sarcastically disappointed expression on his face.

"Damn it, I wanted to scare you and again I didn't." His husky, deep voice was like a melody in her ears. So rustic, so hard but still tender, gentle.

"You should oil up your brace again, maybe it'll work then."

"You're damn right Boss, as always." he laughed.

The Iron Bull stood right next to her. For the small petite elf, the Bull was like a colossus to her - a big bear with a soft heart full of secrets. All the scars, the eye patch, his injured right hand, Bull has experienced a lot and she loved his stories, which he told from time to time. He peered conspicuously into her jar and smacked disappointedly.

"Your jug is empty, what a shame!"

"I'm not a big drinker," she said, slightly touched with embarrassment.

Bull shook his head in bewilderment and loosened a canteen from his belt, which was fastened with a leather strap. With a gesture he asked her to hold her jug in front of him and filled it with some of this mysterious liquid.

Dhara sniffed it carefully and felt the smell burning in her nose, but she also smelled some vanilla and honey, which distracted from the slight tingling. 

"Maker, the stuff smells strong! This doesn't make me want to drink it more, but rather the other way round!”

"Don't worry, Boss! Krem brewed this liquor, he's really got a good knack for it, I'll give him that! Trust me."

They toasted as they gazed into each other's eyes - a feeling of lightness and joy shone in Dhara’s eyes as she saw Bull’s cockeyed smile. "To the Inquisition!" laughed the Iron Bull and drank his pitcher in one go while Dhara sipped the pitcher slightly insecurely and suspiciously. This little drop burned in her throat like hellfire, almost as if a dragon spat fire right into her throat; she choked a bit, patting her own chest. But after only a few seconds the burning went away and she tasted a mild sweetish finish which she enjoyed. Bull watched her closely and saw a little smile come over her lips. 

"Finally."

In surprise she blinked at him, tilted her head to the side and put the jug down on the stone wall.

"At last you're smiling."

Dhara knew that Bull was a Ben Hassrath, she knew that he too was watching her all the time and maybe even knew more about her than she had actually told him. She didn't like to show feelings, didn't even trust them. 

She thought about it, every day. Even now. Her eyes gazed sadly at the stone floor, a heavy sigh slackened her smile. 

"It bothers you, doesn't it? This whole… Inquisitor business."

"Not only that."

"What else?"

Bull sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall while Dhara followed him and took the jug back. She looked up at the sky, which moved above her like a purple sea with milky, almost translucent clouds. 

"Everything. People hope to be saved by me, but in reality they despise me as soon as they learn that I am not only a blood mage but also a bone bender. The Dalish have already expelled me before I came into my powers, in Tevinter they were chasing me because I was a "perfect slave" - the list goes on but...I have nowhere to go back to, I'm kind of hovering around and now I'm supposed to save Thedas and I'm getting all this responsibility basically dumped on me. And this dragon...I just feel bad, she just wanted to live."

Bull tried to understand her, but how could he? He knows what it's like to be banished but he has a family - the Chargers. Dhara had been on her own for more than 9 years when she escaped from the Dalish Clan at the age of 16. She has always been different, strange to many and even a threat. Nobody gave her the support she needed so much. 

"The Dalish...they despise me like everyone else. But since I am the herald they are all disgustingly friendly to me now - thinking I am too stupid to understand. I don't belong in this world, I get it," she continued bitterly and took another sip of the liquor that made her hurt inside - but she needed it, she enjoyed it. 

Her golden yellow eyes didn't sparkle as usual and a few seaweed green strands of hair covered her face a bit as she bent her head towards the jug and looked in. Bull couldn't stand this sight and felt guilty, it was not his intention to trouble her. However, he wanted to show her that she could trust him when she was having a bad day - He had his eye on the mysterious elf for awhile now, but she never showed that "kind" of interest back - He rather had the impression that she sees him as a good friend. Slowly he leaned forward and nudged her chin slightly up towards him, encouraging her.

"Boss, don't say something like that. You belong here - this is your new home. You built it all."

She looked at his eyes - his eye patch, all the scars and yet a smile on his lips - Damn this Qunari has been through so much, his body telling all the stories he has experienced, and he was more than right. It was more than unusual for her, but she had an indescribably safe feeling about the Iron Bull. It took some time until she could show her trust in him, but Dhara knew that she too had to change to give others a chance... He at least was very honest with her, why should he lie to her when he knows that Dhara was his equal when it comes to knowledge of human nature. She gave him a small smile.

"Thanks Bull. I-" she blushed and her little freckles on her nose and cheeks only look more beautiful and rosy. The two scars that adorned her left cheek stood out a little bit, the indentation was more obvious with her smiling.

"Actually, you shouldn't be sitting here all alone, but celebrating with us." He said and saw her eyes turn to him.

"But maybe I'm enjoying being alone together right now." her voice was deeper and more wicked. Her eyes twinkled again as she looked over at him with those words and made him feel alive, her impish smile only making his hunger and desire for her even stronger. Her seaweed green hair made her beautiful almond shaped eyes shine even more. Her soft, peach colored skin which was decorated with scars - how many more does she have? What a story she was writing, he thought. With effort he pulled himself together and hummed to himself. 

He wanted to give her time, Bull probably knew Dhara best and also that she trusted people too quickly - at least this was the case in the past. 

"Well, if you want we can stay here as long as you want. "

She nodded in agreement and put the empty jug down - only a few drops were left but Dhara knew when it was over. Bull watched as she hiccupped slightly, he heard her voice cheeping and she held out her hand briefly. But what he noticed only now were the leather bands that decorated her arms. Various kinds of teeth were tied to them. Curiously he examined them and approached her a little. 

"Boss?"

"Yes?"

"Why all these teeth?"

Dhara laughed briefly. His clumsy and questioning look likely wondering whether these were human or animal teeth was more than understandable, a slight tinge of fear was visible in his eye.

"Don't worry, these are teeth of animals, not humans. These are animals that I killed during my hunts. Shortly after I learned that I-" she paused briefly. "Do you even want to hear the story or do you already know it?"

Bull laughed impishly and patted his thigh. "You're really cheeky when you're slightly drunk" - I like that, he thought. "Actually I don't know this story yet. Besides, how could I dare to just interrupt my boss' story?"

Dhara laughed softly and embarrassingly before she started the story.

"All right. When I learned what I could summon with Necromancy, I had to prepare myself. Alone without weapons it is not easy to survive. And I didn't quite know how to use magic yet."

She pointed to the blade, which bull carried with him daily.

"You, too, always carry a weapon with you. No matter how small it is, it protects you."

He laughed approvingly and continued to listen to Dhara attentively.

"I once had a situation where I was not able to use my necromancy, I was inexperienced and didn't know that this kind of magic is so versatile. I had a fight with an assassin from Tevinter, he gave me the scar on my forearm. Well, I learned from that and I collected my own weapons during the hunt. I don't need them anymore but somehow I don't want to let go of them, they are a part of me.

"Touching."

"Isn't it?" she asked rhetorically slyly and nudged him slightly with her elbow.

At that moment he looked at her forearm. The deep, dark red scar that ran almost around her entire arm was hard to miss. She chuckled a little, but her smile faded when she noticed Bull’s worried look. It wasn't just this one scar that made him wonder, but also the fine, almost faded scars that were multiplied and in a row. Ashamed, she turned her back away slightly to hide her arm.

"Dhara..." he whispered with concern.

"I was stupid. It was just a hard time."

Carefully, he took her hand and glanced at her arm. It hurt him to see that Dhara was hurting herself - For blood magic? Hardly, he looked at her seriously. 

"If only I had known you earlier" he said softly and sighed sadly as if he was to blame for everything.

"Promise me that you will come to me if everything becomes too much for you. You don't deserve any pain in the world."

His words were as tender as honey. Never before had Dhara felt such a pounding of her heart, how her blood quickened and made her cheeks blush, her eyes widening and her mouth slightly open with wonder.  
The Iron Bull was usually less worried or sentimental on the road but with Dhara it was different. He also felt his heart racing and crackling.

"Bull..." moaned the elf. She had her thoughts under control, but her body demanded closeness and affection. She tried to hold herself back but the alcohol began to set in. She leaned in front of him, leaning on his muscular thighs. Both were at eye level, they felt the sparks grow stronger, their thoughts and affection for each other becoming clearer and clearer by the second. 

"If his lips are as tender as his words?" she asked herself in thought.

"Chief!" cried a voice from the tavern. Both stood up quickly and saw Krem waving a jug. 

"Chief, we're cracking open a fresh barrel!" 

Bull glanced at Dhara who recoiled at Krem's call and stood up. Both knew exactly what was about to happen. Furthermore, her disappointed look revealed how much she disliked that they had just been interrupted. But on the other hand, it was better for both of them to stop there - in Dhara's current mental state it was dangerous to jump into something like what almost took place.

"Um...Do you want to come along?" he stuttered slightly embarrassed. His cheeks slightly red, his slightly insecure look - Dhara was also a little overwhelmed and looked away with embarrassment. "Or I can stay here with you too-"

"What if I would rather go back to the tavern with you?" she asked with a broad grin. Of course she would love to be with him alone, but it would bring much attention to their whereabouts to others and rumours were the last thing both really need.

"We have to celebrate, you also helped slay the dragon *Hick* "

"Whatever you say, Boss," Bull agreed with his deep, smoky voice, and she felt it reach deep into her heart, her legs slightly turning to jelly. But the liquor also got to her a bit and she giggled slightly to herself.

"She is damn sweet when she staggers and hiccups like that" he thought and took the petite elf on his shoulder.

"Ohh!" she cried startled and clung to his firm forearm while she held the now empty jug up with her left hand.

"I’m not letting you fall down the stairs dear Inquisitor!"

"I am not that drunk!"

"I can let you down too?" suggested the Bull and peered up at her briefly. She grinned over both ears, that was answer enough.


	2. Healing Kiss

  
_Artwork by Felandaria_

The little inquisition troop had been stationed on Crestwood for a few days. It was raining incessantly and the cool coastal wind did not even allow for a warm campfire. They had already been travelling for several days in a remote area where there were almost no trees at all, only empty fields and lax bushes. 

The four, Blackwall, Cassandra, Dhara and the iron Bull, cleared the way to the coast and witnessed Dhara's magical powers almost resembling a berserker's outburst. Bull was injured during the fight when Dhara tried to close a rift. A sudden anger raged inside her as if she wanted to protect him at all costs. Ever since Bull had nearly twisted her head days ago, she had had a hard time controlling her emotions and it was affecting her magic. She exterminated one monster after the other and lost a lot of energy in the process - they had to rest, the Inquisitor was at the end of her tether after she finally closed the rift.

Blackwall by chance found a small cave where they could finally take a dry and warm rest. The fire burned continuously, the wet gambesons and soaked boots could finally dry while the group could sleep restfully. Despite the warmth of the fire and the silence, Dhara could not sleep. She tossed and turned on the mat, sweating with fear. 

It was in Anderfels. Many years ago, a few weeks after her escape from the Dalish clan. She was young, walking through the tundra; the horizon and the ground, the rocks - crimson red. The air was dry and the meadows full of red and yellow flowers and dried bushes. She walked alone with her small pack on her back. Events flickered in her mind. Later, an elf and a warrior - both a little older than the little elf. They were walking together, talking. Suddenly - bandits. They attacked the three. The young elf was killed instantly when he was shot through the head with an arrow. The young woman fought back vehemently. Two bandits held her down and tore off her clothes. Dhara tried to flee but her legs froze, she tried fire magic but she was too shocked. "No! MAKER NO!" she heard the warrior cry - she was gone. As if she had disappeared from the face of the earth. The bandits came towards Dhara, holding her tight. She tugged and struggled, she didn't want to end up like this. They tore open her skirt and laughed amusedly as she cried and pleaded. But before the captain could take his pleasure in her she cried out. Confused, unintelligible words came from her lips. She whispered but her echo screamed. Her hands glowed purple, her eyes shone yellow like the sun. The bandits saw bones rise from the earth. They broke into themselves, were sharp as blades and hovered in the air. Like pointed arrows they flew through the air, piercing one bandit after another. Dhara screamed her head off, wept with sorrow and her emotions were pure chaos. 

"Dhara!" she suddenly heard a deep voice whisper and her dream sank into darkness as if she was being pulled in by a suction. She gasped in panic, panting for breath. The teeth on her arms hovered, but settled again before Lavellan calmed down.

"Dhara..." she heard again and blinked up - It was the iron Bull. His voice so soft yet husky, concerned, whispering. She caught herself again and shook her head. She looked around - except for Bull, the others were sound asleep.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" she asked quietly, looking away guiltedly. Bull gently grasped her shoulder. His fingers so cool yet gentle on her delicate shoulder.

"Do you want to go out for a moment? It's not raining at the moment." she nodded and they both slowly crept out of the cave. In fact it stopped raining for a moment and the wind was still, the moon at its highest point in the midnight sky. This silence, no thunderstorm just emptiness, which only made the elf feel more uneasy and almost paranoid. They walked a little way across the field and Bull heard Dhara humming something to herself. Her voice was a little smokier and less melodic, but when she sang she sounded like a goddess to him.

"That's a beautiful song."

"Actually, I'm just trying to calm down, but thank you." she smiled. Not far from their view, they both saw a cliff and sat down there. The horizon was breathtaking - So far but still beautifully adorned with ruins, some trees and the sea.

"Thank you for waking me up. And sorry for waking you. Are you feeling better though?" she asked ruefully, nervously tugging at her tattered ochre yellow dress. 

"I'm fine boss, just a few scratches. Do you get these kind of things often? I've never seen anything like this, magic I mean." 

Dhara tilted her head to the side questioningly.

"Well, the bones and stuff...floating while you're asleep. And the outburst earlier...that was very well..."

She smirked slightly roguishly over at the Qunari. "Are you worried that I'll attack you while I'm asleep?" she giggled but Bull's look was serious, worried rather, and so she stopped laughing straight away too.

"The last time I had such an outburst was in Anderfels, years ago. But I do have these dreams from time to time. Thank the Maker that I haven't become an abomination yet," she answered seriously.

"Dhara I worry about you." His words echoed her thoughts which reached her heart and enveloped something heavy yet comforting. Her lost-in-thought look looked like she was possessed by something - her dream?

"Boss?" Bull asked carefully and she blinked again. Confused by her ever-changing emotions, the Qunari felt a little helpless. He knew that Lavellan was a daydreamer but she was as confused to see for him as Pandora's box that not even the Maker knew how to open.

"So much chaos ..." she whispered, glancing up at him. Her golden yellow eyes sparkled mysteriously. Then he understood what she meant, how she felt. Her eyes glowed slightly, marked with pain and suffering. Of the unknown and danger. Little of joy and love.

“I don't want to throw you into chaos, Bull. I don't want to throw you all into my chaos. "

Her words struck his steely heart like the sharpest bolts there was. Dhara was different. She wasn't like the usual elves. She was powerful and dangerous at the same time, not only as a blood mage but also as an Inquisitor - the herald of Andraste. Slowly her eyes welled up and full tears rolled down her scarred cheek. This is the first time in a very long time that Dhara has been able to open up to someone so - so vulnerable. She felt how Bull's hand enveloped her back and slowly led her to him. She let herself be guided and leaned against his chest and whimpered softly to herself.

“This mess ... they thought they'd get me! They thought they'd get me! " she yelped angrily and clutched his tight, cool skin.

Her confused words were like a book with seven seals - Like a puzzle that gradually gave a clear picture. A few weeks ago he broached a topic around the campfire which Dhara cut off vehemently - the events in Anderfels. Bull knew that she couldn't let go of something, as careful and distant as she was and slowly he became aware of what had happened.

“Their dirty hands on my body ... and then .. dead! All of them!" she screamed angrily.

"Those bastards ..." Bull whispered aghast and hugged her more to himself. Dhara calmed down when she felt the slight pressure of his hand around her shoulder and heard his heartbeat - so regular and powerful as if it gave her the strength she needed to control herself.

"I'm a wreck and now Corypheus ... I can't do it." she whimpered softly.

"Boss? May I give you my opinion on that? "

Dhara looked up at the Iron Bull, trembling slightly, and was amazed at the slightly bittersweet smile he gave her. The metal eye patch reflects the moonlight which defines his distinctive face and horns.

“You are stronger than you think. I have never met such a graceful and strong woman as you. You know what your magic can do and you are very aware of it. Even Viv shies away from you. " he smiled softly.

"But what I actually want to say is-" he interrupted briefly and took a deep breath.

“I will always be by your side. You have fought alone long enough, I want to protect you even if I know that you can do it well on your own. "

These words had weighed on Bulles shoulders for weeks and struck Dhara's heart. She felt a feeling that she had never known before. Some kind of connection, understanding - endless trust. At that moment she was fighting inwardly against her trust issues. But this fight didn't last forever when she saw the determination in his eye. And over the past few weeks, Bull has shown her day in and day out that he cared about her. The way he cared for her, the long and in-depth conversations around the campfire and his support in making decisions.

“I'm unsure of so many things. Sometimes I am afraid of myself. I don't want to hurt anyone close to me, you know? "

The iron bull nodded in agreement and continued to listen to her.

"I may look fragile, but I have seen all the horror that rages in Thedas. And that horror is also in me. I am afraid of unleashing it, I don’t know what will happen."

“Then you have to let go. Once and for all. I feel that you are still attached to your past. I don't know magic very well, but I know that you can be other than insecure - you just have to let go. "

Dhara looked up at him and pushed the strand of green hair behind her ear.

"You're right. It's just ... I've been thinking about someone a lot lately ... and this thought confuses me.."

They looked deep into each other's eyes, manifestes and with hunger. That strong chemistry and that electrical feeling permeated them both and grew stronger by the second. Dhara slowly straightened up and her lips slowly approached and she rested her hand on his chest. With their proximity, she almost controlled his heartbeat - Lavellan could feel the rapid rise in his pulse as she approached him. The Qunari saw how her rosy skin shimmered and was wetted by drops of water.

"Boss .. it's starting to rain .." he stated in a deep and smoky voice. For a brief moment she distanced herself uncertainly. Is what is happening here right? Is this the point where she can let her past rest?

"So what-" she said firmly and approached his lips. Her delicate hands on his cheekbones - she looked a little awkward. Her lips trembling, his breath hot and his deep moan hungry for more. How soft his lips are, Dhara thought to herself. Her fingers slid down his cheek to his tight chest which was adorned with scars. She tried to feel every single scar, how soft his skin was for such a rough Qunari. Bull's hand slid smoothly down her wet shoulder to her hand which glowed slightly green and left a pleasant tingling sensation on his skin.

Embarrassed, she shrank back, her eyes wide open and full of fear.

“Sorry, that was inappropriate. I don't know what's wrong with me ... what have I done? " she asked herself in a low panic and breathed quickly. It was a mistake - a big one. Bull shook his head and leaned over to kiss her again. Her tense lips calmed down and she felt his tongue slowly entered and played around hers, exploring. For weeks both secretly demanded for each other. Bull's lips explored every fiber of hers, and Dhara was also curious. She moaned softly for more and bit his lip lightly. Her sharp teeth left a bittersweet pain that did not quench his thirst but only increased it.

All the worries and thoughts vanished in the cool, damp air. Her heart jumped for joy, like a little firework, when she realized that the iron bull was reciprocating her feelings. Her lips parted and he looked at her again as her cheeks turned crimson.

"Are you okay boss?"

“Y-yes I ... I feel kind of free? Weightless .. What a kiss like that can do- ”she noted, slightly touched, and smiled.

"I'm glad that I could help." he replied, carefully pushing her hair aside. The rain got stronger and Bull shielded her with his hand. Both completely soaked and yet they wanted to linger on the cliff and listen to the rain and the waking sea. It didn't take long, however, before the delicate lavellan began to tremble.

“Come on, we'd better go. You shouldn't catch a cold, boss. "

"Don't you want to take care of me?" she joked as they both got up. 

"Yes ..." said Bull, secretly embarrassed. Dhara turned and waited for the rest of his words.

"But you'd better be healthy for that."

She sassily rested her hands on her hips and smacked her lips sarcastically.

“You're going all in aren't you, Bull? All attention."

"Oh now we have enough courage to be cheeky, huh?" he said mischievously and couldn't stop grinning as he looked at her cheeky grin.

"Mhh maybe?" she replied mischievously and turned around with a sure swing. The iron bull just smiled and shook his head and followed her. Both walked a bit and shortly before the cave Dhara stopped him briefly.

“Thanks again, Bull ... for the kiss and your words. I'm just a little confused about how things will go on with us, I don't know how it all "works" and if you have interest - or if it's something that -. "

A little confused, he looked at the petite elf and knelt at eye level with her.

"Wasn't that clear?"

"I mean yes, but-"

"Boss, if you don't want that, we can stop."

She hesitated, embarrassed, and avoided his eyes in shame.

"I just want it, I don't know how it works ... I mean a relationship like that."

"Do you need some time?" he asked worriedly and she nodded slightly in agreement. He smiled gently at her in understanding and stood up. Both continued to walk to the cave which was not far from both.

"Okay. You know you can come to me anytime, boss. I only want the best for you and to protect you from chaos. "


End file.
